Movement brings me joy
As a child I was always dancing. I dreamed of being a gorgeous ballerina, twirling effortlessly on stage, lost in the music. At the age of 13 I was told I would never be a classical ballerina. I had the wrong body, wrong shape, wrong size. Totally devastating I can tell you.
But I had to dance. I set about schooling and fine-tuning my body with the one aim of achieving technical prowess. For my instrument to become a virtuoso super-human movement machine: no matter at what cost.
It was what you did to make it: to be better than anyone else, to be seen, valued and noticed. It was what I knew.
I did dance professionally and my years dancing were all consuming; full of passion, creativity and excitement. It was an incredible time. There was however a flip-side: I was always pushing to be more: stronger, quicker, thinner, more flexible. Never feeling quite “good enough” within myself.
Following a back injury, when I was on physio, painkillers and rest, I read a lot. Anatomy books, books on physiology of movement. I read the work of Mabel Todd and Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen. I had lots of light bulb “aha” moments, shifting and re-framing my perceptions and also my personal boundaries. I started looking differently at my body, my work….my life.
The Alexander Technique, then later Release Work and Contact Improvisation introduced me to a totally new experience of movement. Exploring how breath, release of weight, the pull of gravity, bring an ease, grace and beauty to movement.
Through the Feldenkrais Method I became curious about developmental movement, how we are programmed from birth to learn and internalize useful movement patterns. I discovered new and exciting ways into the body. Different approaches to internalizing and embodying movement. I could achieve the same (and often more), by doing less.
It was a poignant time of learning and of un-learning. I found myself celebrating in the body’s innate intelligence. Touched and delighting in a very different movement aesthetic: the beauty and honesty of natural movement, rooted in the day to day. I started looking more towards our inner landscapes and the relationship between body, mind and movement.
My yoga journey was to come from this.
